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It may have steps but they are not in fucking sequential order and they can randomly repeat.
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It is terrifying. Losing someone you love and realizing over and over and over again that no, they are NOT coming back feels like being hurled into outer space without a tether.
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Grief never completely goes away. It just becomes part of the fabric of your being.
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If you haven’t actually experienced it, you don’t understand it. Period.
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People will surprise you with their generosity and others will fail you in ways unimaginable. And there is no way of knowing who is who beforehand.
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There is no timeline. There is no finish line. There is no getting past it or getting over it or getting on with your life. There is just learning to live with it.
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Grief makes other people uncomfortable. That it their problem. Not yours.
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Even if your friends and colleagues are compassionate, they can (and will) forget about your grief and loss long before you have even begun to process it. So don’t be afraid to ask for what you need.
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If you can find a way to not judge yourself in the process, it will go easier. (“Easier” is obviously is a relative term)
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Happy moments can be as hard as sad ones.
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Sometimes “how are you?” is the hardest question of all.
