Happy birthday to my father.  Every year since his death, my father’s birthday makes me sad as he is no longer here to celebrate.  And I used to love to call him and tease him mercilessly on his birthday… I’d sing off-key and he’d pretend to need to get off the phone and we’d laugh joyously at our silly ritual.  It was so stupid and we loved it… like a little child that says “again. again. again!”

The Law of Conservation of  Energy states that energy is neither created nor destroyed.  (As do the Buddhist masters…) Accordingly, my father exists somewhere in the universe and yet, I do so miss the form of my father.  I miss his sense of humor, his laugh.  I miss his intelligence and wisdom.  I even miss terrible sense of fashion.  I. MISS. HIM. .. to the depth of my being.

But I cannot deny that he still exists, that his energy left marks on those who loved him and those he loved.  I am marked by my father’s love as much as I am marked by my own for him.  He is no longer the object of my love.    He is my love for him.

And so happy continuation day to my father (who lives on in me).